Breathe-in experience, breathe-out poetry.

Selected poems on love, life and living. . .and other natural wonders.

A Love Poem Almost a Whisper At First and 1st Be My Love By Firelight The Child Within Cloud Nine Comes the Spring Coming Up Empty Crazeee Daze Curiosity Shop

Diamond Drops The Falling Leaves Fear Factor Heavenly Love His Choice In Winter When lone·li·ness Loving Myself Mean Brother Rising Miracle Man My Reiki Trade

No Options Oceanwave One Last Night Out of Sight River Song Senses Affected Serendipity Sonrisas in June Three Foxes Who I Am Winter Whispers

A Love Poem

My toy
you are an open door and I see
everything you can become
I can become we will become together
like shoelaces or velcro
or sunshine and cut grass
like paper valentines. Be mine.
This is why. . . .

You understand my tempest fits
with silent solidarity
riding out foul weather like broken dreams.
Like ivy you are ever green. Here
to soothe my soul in subtle ways
without condition pure you listen
and lace me with affection
when I want to be
spoiled spinning with security
you tell me what I want to hear
you try so hard. I feel it in you
when I can't let go
I won't let you go.

Sweetheart, Honey, Angel
candy-coated terms of endearment
carmelize on my hot tongue
and you are mine
my lover my friend
and in my hands
my toy.


Almost a Whisper

Without a word
though barely heard
meant just for me
breathed in my ear
my heart is won
and so I fall.

At First and 1st Here you cross on red with caution heads turned in watchful wait rouged cheeks and ruby lips on models matrons mothers men wearing red and heads in shades from flaming copper coin to fire engine red sirens blaring to the orange glow below a fire lit or it's long black dipped in burgundy like a painter's brush and still called red We patiently wait out the red crossing at the curb the start of a race red rover red rover on red alert eyes a void avoid meeting each other instead seeing red annoyance creeping crimson tail lights a blur and each horn blast prickly as a raspberry bush as cars rush past Red neon blazing uptown red dragon down where ribbons of red meat hang in shop windows charred scarred and remembering red valentines hearts roses deep and pure the color of true love rich and red as the stripes on the flag at ground zero hanging there still

And somewhere in between business as usual the bloodshot masses spill out of buildings amidst merlot laughter and rouge rot rosso rojo a rash of foreign sounds and strawberry fields forever slapping the senses dusk to dawn in a city that never sleeps We wait keeping watch for green light go suspended in the animation patiently impatient eyes darting to and fro wanting to part traffic like the red sea all of us in a desperate got-to-get-there hurry to be on our way to somewhere

Be My Love

Once
I rode a horse wild
through fields of green
knee-deep in buttercup meadows
and fiery woods that came with fall
bareback and toes free
in tea-length skirts
I chose to wear
hair healthy and strong
long like Guinevere upon her steed
so proud to be me
and happy as the grass was green
my passion locked tight
always waiting for you
who had the
key


By Firelight

We sit our backs to the fire
on chenille cushions in golden warmth
legs outstretched and intertwined
like our souls from the day we met

forgetting past imperfection
and false words spoken in the dark
by fleeting ships who drifted away
their interest spent

they went and we found each other
alone and lost cast ashore
we bore the scars of fickle hearts
a common thread to unite us from the first

the worst was over as gentle rains
washed away the fear to trust again
and friendship flowered blossoming
it ignited into heated rush

and the hush of hot summer nights
blessed with laughter soft til morning mist
and passion so rich we fell easily
like autumn leaves falling to earth

in blissful peace we've no need for words
two now one our shadows dance
silently in the flickering firelight
on the wall and ceiling above

we speak instead with eyes lips touch
and the smile we feel
in our hearts
called love


The Child Within

The child within
sips chamomile
in rowboats at tea time
in petticoats pulled up to her knees
while plucking petals in virgin bliss
cheeks kissed by the sun and daisy-faced
as lily pads soar past lavender clouds
of innocent cotton candy
so sweet and filled with hope
she smiles


Cloud Nine

I am
alone and complete
and completely alone
here in my room I burn
candles and incense and memories
with soft music playing or silence
I dance when I want
am still when I please
cry when I can't
hold on to the tears that linger within
when it's right or I am wrong
or maybe I'm right and he's simply left
for no better reason than a wrong turn
my candles burn my bare feet play
in carpet like clouds I curl my toes
I write I fly I soar to the stars
in my world I am alone
for now complete
completely
me


Comes the Spring

I wait for spring. . .
to fold away
the threads of winter
in lavender scent

windows drawn wide
as early dawn spills in
through gossamer
floating on a breeze

the sweet promise of air
refreshing and clean
filled with the sounds
of chunky mottled birds

at play in a bed of leaves
fallen before first frost
and lying there still
. . .when will it come?

the silence of ferns pushing
through Mother Earth
to feel the sun
says soon


Coming Up Empty

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel
the experience is new.
I suffered through years of acid rain,
but never felt this blue.

Tears come unexpectedly
with songs I often hear.
The man I loved, though far away,
still feels so very dear.

Within my heart and soul I find
a place for him I keep
wrapped safe in my subconscious
where longing lingers deep.

I shuffle through my routine days
an effort to move on
the way he has not missed a beat.
No tears. . .at peace. . .long gone.

My friends tell me to let him go,
pretend we never met;
and though my head accepts the truth,
my heart cannot forget.

It lies in wait. I'm helpless.
I remain shaken to the core.
My heart, you see, despite past pain,
has never been broken before.

So, before you think to say I'm wrong
to pine for what wasn't real,
understand this is a first for me
and I don't know how else to feel.


Crazeee Daze

The woman was me
barefoot and bleeding
from needing to see him
hurt deep within
reeling and feeling
my life's up in smoke
hazy shades
of black to gray
like ashes from each hit
I wanted to quit

I'd say. . .
this is my last
try to mend fences
broken by mistake
—What would it take
for him to respond?—
chances were slim
it was plain to see
he was content with his life
without me in it

but each letter written
like a baby's first steps
led to another holding fast
I had to know the reason why
he was being so cold
I missed him so
I wouldn't let go
just couldn't get past his final plea
. . .I don't want this to be goodbye. . .
I thought he meant it, silly me.

Curiosity Shop A store in town with windows draped in lost and found kept secrets from another day escaping little drawers whipped together in careless array caught my eye and nipped and tugged at me to know what was inside. At first assailed by the stale smell of old pearls cameos jewelry galore spilt on tables furniture crowding aisles and more while fingering plates with golden rims and lace I didn't need I spied amidst the treasures there a curiosity in herself to see. Almost hidden among the piles of books stacked round her like canyon walls tall and weighed down by long gray hair a witchy woman wearing a mix of fine and funky in colors meant for wooden floors she lowered lashes to veil the link between her and me.

Left to browse my curiosity aroused by this sight black lips and all looked very punk about a hundred and three I wondered what her story could be and stole furtive glances past tapestry Tiffany the shop's precious best to where she wondered if I meant to buy. Until she, too, was eyeing me and said at last, "See anything of interest? " I smiled. . ."No, thanks ". . . and headed for the door a little white tale the truth be told it wasn't for sale for sure the most interesting thing in the shop to behold was her.

Diamond Drops

Arise, dear Earth, from winter's sleep
and feel the gentle rain
the world awash with liquid hope
as springtime comes again

raindrops fall in measured flow
to nourish grasses green
to rinse away the winter greys
in showers fresh and clean

like brilliant jewels upon a hand
they glisten in the sun
the early morning light reveals
how diamond-like each one

trees come alive they stretch and yawn
the cleansing rains don't stop
and leaves unfurl like fingertips
to catch each precious drop


The Falling Leaves

Autumn falls gently
crimson to gold leaves drift
to blanket the earth
like a mother’s loving touch
tucking her child in
for winter’s sleepy approach

the barren tree branches
like long brown fingers
reach to the heavens
soaking in the last heated rays
grateful for the glory that was summer
and birds silent now save their songs

as the earth settles into itself
safe and warm to wait
in peaceful acceptance
of what is


Fear Factor

So haunting was the darkened night
so chilling that I found
I petrified with morbid fright
at every eerie sound

Be brave walk on I told myself
there's nothing here to fear
it's just a house and you're alone
it's just the wind you hear

Yet there I stood afraid to move
half rooted to the floor
when somewhere past the shadows
I heard a creaking door

I thought that I might see a ghost
if I should turn my head
I told myself so much for brave
and ran like hell instead


Heavenly Love

I never thought I'd live to know
an angel here on earth
with easy smiles and gentleness
he fuels my soul's rebirth

He whiles away his daily chores
without complaint with ease
his heart is pure he finds the good
in everything he sees
vHe tells me that his soul is new
the first time ever here
the cheerfulness his laugh exudes
is music to my ears
vI know he’s just a man who lives
a life by golden rule
but 'round him shines an aura bright
a brilliant yellow hue

Its warmth reflects in others' eyes
in his they see their worth
they're glad to know this man I love
my angel here on earth

His Choice When I was good in bed by nine I wore my mother's choice spoke my teacher's words raised my hand and waited to fall in love like waiting to get my braces off or waiting for that important call because it was going to be wonderful like running your tongue      over smooth, straight teeth like running for the phone to hear his voice      and singing "Hello?" But no. . .WRONG NUMBER. Now I am better in bed when I want wear what I choose question the questions and speak my own mind but still too naive I closed my eyes and hoped for the best threw caution to the wind and fell head-over-heels like a giddy school girl      landing the quarterback for prom like running in place      waiting for a miracle to happen. But NO.

So. . . I drink coffee black in the calm of my kitchen during wee morning hours wearing his choice ecru and teal he'll never see at least not on me as he wanders through my thoughts so sweet so far away like a magic act that once made you smile like a distant fond memory      you struggle to remember. And when the phone doesn't ring. . . I know it's him.

In Winter When

When all around the world is white
and snowfall caps the trees
in heavy coats the branches bow
beneath an arctic freeze

breezes whisper through the woods
the frozen earth lies still
chilled to the bone and silent
wrapped tight in nature's will

yet like the water in a brook
unfazed by winter's touch
my heart is flowing clear and free
despite the icy hush

on starry nights came peaceful bliss
to heal all pain is past
I'm warm within his soul at home
safe to love at last


lone·li·ness

if you pause to listen carefully
you can hear the silence
in my house

fan blades whirl above
to ease the buttery warmth
of summer days gone wild

as ribbons of sunlight
stream in through glass
past trees beyond

in a world away
to play upon the polished floors
of golden oak

where footfalls of parties once held
laughter and words whispered by candlelight
somehow linger in the absolute stillness

the rooms lie dormant like me
in their patient wait
for human touch

silence assured
by wall-to-wall books
meant to be read

and cushioned by a mind
where memories echo on
soundlessly

Loving Myself I wish I had always felt like this somewhere between early and late feeling pure and at peace gazing in the mirror staring hard at roots and eyes changing color with self-awareness and nightly reflections that wash away the filth of human fault at the end of the day. I wish for maybe just one moment you had tried to understand me and saw my eyes changing color my roots my history my golden year I played in cemeteries mourned and cried buried my mother and marriage tasting my fears and anger like black fumes as I got high off my own obligatory pain. I had wished then upon a thousand stars for courage answers salvation to keep myself my life from turning to frail wisps of what was once all I knew with no time to think or heal I buried the pain deep within and pushed aside my hopes my dreams my only need was to feed my children.

I hope I always feel like this driven driving past those days in Hades with clarity and calm my spirit rising with the dawn of each new day feeling alive complete and whole gazing in the mirror clearly seeing my direction my roots my ends my salvation myself. And sometimes when a song wraps 'round me flowing in like gentle tide and awash with warm memories I smile I laugh I dance and wish you were here to see how I've grown I've finally found the joys that feed my soul and give new meaning to the word love.

Mean Brother Rising Mean brother rising like a werewolf moon from somewhere under my bed. I remember it well. I hated the price. A month's worth of allowance spent in a flash just to hear his laughter. Money down the drain flushed away in the toilet where I threatened to drown him. I wished him dead. But Mama said, Behave yourself. . .ME!. . . Don't talk like that to your brother. After all, boys will be boys. My marriage was a variation of the same old song that subtle conditioning learned in childhood rhymes. I was sugar and spice and everything nice taught to stand tall in his shadow beside him beside myself to stand there and take it. Be silent, behave. . . wash the dishes clean the house do laundry cook sew tuck the kids in with fairy tale tales and kiss them goodnight. Then climb into bed. Be silent, be brave. . . Mend your own broken heart. That's what little girls are made of. After all, boys will be boys. This was connubial bliss?

I think, not so bad if that's all it was one roll in the hay. But, hey. . .Two? Five? Ten? When would it end? And I must have been blind not to feel the first glare of dagger eyes that cut through me like a knife him wanting to know, What did you say? as if it was the worst of sins that I dare to defy and ask simple questions Who? What? Why? Where had he been? Johnny's so late at the fair. Numb dumb stupid girl accepting the lies for so long was so wrong until I got smart and realized the monster under my bed was in it. A tax man come to collect his due. After all. . . You don't bite the hand that feeds you. You forgive and forget and try to remember sometimes fairy tales do come true for other people as you wrap your legs tightly around him and ride with the wind. No more. . .no way too high a price to pay for a trip that went nowhere.

Miracle Man He stands tall beneath the emerald canopy of aged pine strong in body mind and spirit he is at one with nature dark eyes missing nothing in the wooded glen he pauses lips parted in boyish wonder struck by its tranquility beams of sunlight kiss the trees the summer colors about to give way to fall he calls this place heaven or as near to it as we could hope to be the cadence of his voice calm and soothing flows gently through my veins like water rippling it drowns out the world and floods my soul with affection so real

more than magic this miracle man who shares my life intangible like love itself there are no words to explain his goodness content he smiles and stoops to gently touch the earth to feel its softness and caress a fallen leaf he would never pluck from its tree a gift for me he finds it beautiful to recall this day and fill our pages of memory with happiness and new beginnings I close the only thing standing between us the air we breathe to take his hand to say I have been blessed is simply not enough.

My Reiki Trade

I'm usually on the giving end
energy there my prayer in place
hands warm with gentle touch
eager to please and ease
the tensions of his day.

Tonight he has me lie upon the bed
my head in the palm of his hands
his touch barely there through my hair
sends a tingling down my spine
to the tips of my toes.

God knows, I welcome this gift
and close my eyes to let him work
to restore the flow
release and heal
I feel my body relax.

With ocean sounds and scent of sage
the stage is set to meditate
to lose myself and wander round
through colors bright and meadows green
to places I have never been.

Lost in a daze like drowning on wine
touch firm and fine with slow release
and like the sun kissing my skin
his hands hover above and I feel the warmth
soothing my soul and spirit within.


No Options

Shattered
to bits
like a broken mirror
scattered shards
too small to fit
lying in pieces
like missing parts
to a puzzle never found
two hearts of a whole
forever severed
too late
to fix
the
marriage


Oceanwave

We came together
fingers laced
like parts of a puzzle
on me like paint
on the wall shadows played
my heart clung to his
words dripping with honey
bees swarmed in my head
drawing me in love
deep as an ocean
   not a gotta-have-him
      hog-tie-and-brand-him
         make-him-mine kind of love
something sweeter
that just seemed to flow naturally
from the very core of my being
   he washed over me
      like warm island water
and I ached for him long
after he was gone


One Last Night

Be still take care my bleeding heart
the end is near in sight.
The letting go of hopes and dreams
will come this final night.

One last release of salty tears
will wash away the pain.
No more will I relive the past
nor think what might-have-been.

No wishing for his kiss or touch
or him to long for mine.
No more the prayer for his return
nor back the hands of time.

I'll find within myself the strength
and share with those I love
the peace I carry deep inside
God's blessing from above.

I know that though he loved me not,
another will and then
I'll soar up high on angel wings
free to fly again.

This man who brought me utter joy
I loved with all my soul.
And though my heart will not forget,
tonight I let him go.


Out of Sight

While I was gone
lilacs bloomed in another place
a joke was told and someone laughed.

Now the laugh echoes
round my old haunts for while away
a storm passed through this town of mine.

Day turned into night and the stars born died
   as wildflowers that set the woods on fire
      were put out in March while I was gone.

I suppose,
yes, I am sad,
more was lost than gained

for in that fleeting month
when I thought all was right in my world
I was somewhere else.


River Song

I hold a piece of calm
here by the shore
to skim along his prose like smooth stone.
. . .He says he waits for me in his world . . .
He tugs and pulls me in with murky tongue
. . .his hunger and craving not yet completed . . .
as I slip and slide and fall between warm waves
that lap the river’s edge
near noon today.

I smile and he laughs
. . .and asks me to immerse him in my longings . . .
and I wonder if his gentle words are just a lure
to suck me in deeper than I am
and drown me in my own bottomless want.
I read each line
. . .and follow him to the place of his dreams . . .
and they spin me round in currents and turn my head
in whirlpools to black algae numb.

My dreams—I cannot care I cannot hope.
The truth I know. These words, though sent to me,
were meant for another not mine to keep
to show how deep his love for her flows.
And as his last. . .dance with me . . . fades
to a whisper floating away,
I hold my breath he holds my heart
here by the shore
I feel alone.


Senses Affected

Disappointment
is a man you wanted to love
who did not feel the same.

Smells like sour milk or funeral flowers.

Sounds like a plead
quiet and empty
when the pain is still new
or the echo of a scream that hurts your throat
the acid rising in your darkest hours.

Stings like a slap
sudden and unexpected
leaving you stunned and wondering why.

Tastes like gravel or sand
—a million beaches of disappointment—
turning to cement so heavy on your heart
you feel hope and dreams die.

Looks more like the end
as every day spent
holds only memories
of those once shared.

All the more bitter since you honestly cared.


Serendipity

Anticipation
laced with expectations and a wary heart
blinded breathless in the sunlight
melted into calm ease
when I saw him
smile.

Him—pleased?
And me with amber spiraling in my eyes
stood an eternity in a moment
in yellow warmth our first hello
sweet like peaches or fat roses
on a new summer day.

Such tenderness
when first we met
braided together
soft scent of vanilla and affection
hopes for happiness renewed
enlivened by the warmth
from the glow around us
and the feel of his hand
taking mine.


Sonrisas in June

I have no clothes. Nothing fits.
I've lost a little weight.
OK. . .not some. . .quite a bit.
They say I'm looking great.

They ask me what my secret is
as if there's one to tell.
The only thing I think to say,
"His name was. . .well—"

What's the point to raise the dead.
It's done. . .he's gone. . .no more.
I was crushed and went off food
when he walked out the door.

I'm better now with healthy glow.
I'm tanned and I am trim.
Bikini slim looks good on me,
and I owe it all to him.


Three Foxes

Three foxes were singing
to a quaint minstrel’s tune
a red wolf was glaring
behind a red ruin

But music has ways
—mysterious and sweet—
and even the wolf
was soon on his feet

Dancing and prancing
   to the rollicking beat
      under a midnight moon.


Who I Am

I am not
an airbrushed cover girl
posed and poised tousled just right
lipstick smudged and spritzed with water
to go for the glow on skin stretched over bones
so tight the girl looks weak
or like a freak of nature
with too large breasts and two full lips
pouting in mock depression
or some come-hither look that goes nowhere
as feigned expression and eyes void
from exploitation
reveal no real soul
Nothing phony about me.
When I look sick or pout,
it's not sexy.

I am more like the rainbow found in an oil pool
a little red a little blue liquid and round
my beauty flows from within
and I succeed with smiles true
no need for miracle bras
designer clothes or skintight skin
though perfumed baths do soften mine
and I paint my toes in colors bright
just for fun to keep the package looking fine
I wear my heart on my sleeve
and say words real what I honestly feel
content and whole
my soul's an open book
for you to read.
I know what I've got and who I am not
and why I am so happy
inside and out being me.


Winter Whispers

On westerly breeze
come words from afar
meant to soften the heart

honest and true?
only time will tell
as yet we are still apart

like earth lying buried
beneath winter snow
I tremble a wish on my lips

for things that could be
the feel of your warmth
the touch of your fingertips

the words from your heart
and soul mirror mine
the time we will meet
drawing near

I pray you are true
sincere in your quest
and wait for you
patiently here